Friday, October 28, 2011

Stories from a crappy childhood

Stories from a crappy childhood

So I being my first girlfriend home. I' my....teens? Somewhere.

Her name was Loretta and lived a few streets away. We went out for at least 2 days but it all fizzled out due to me not having a clue what to do. We almost kissed. I was walking her home and my 'mate' Sammy tagged along. Cock. He stood staring there while I said goodbye making it impossible to lean in for a smooch.

So, this one day I, for some probably very stupid reason, brought her home. My mum knew her. It was no big secret. We're stood in the back room. We were proper worming class, like. None of this fancy 'parlor' rubbish. That's the front room, it's at the front. That's the back room, it' get the picture.

"Hey Loretta" my mum says "come look at this".

Loretta saunters over and my mum gets out one of my schoolbooks.

"See that Loretta? His handwriting's rubbish, innit?"

I burn up.

Now, my handwriting was shocking and still is. The advent of computer didn't help and it's not lie,ly to get better with my iPad. Holding a pen is so alien now. I'd get home from a long day at college and spend a few hours re-writing all my notes. I'd spend a large part of that deciphering them. Even then some of it was...illegible at best.

Loretta, embarrassed, leaves.

"you like embarrassing me, don't you?" I ask.

"I'm only doing it for your own good" she says.

Aww. She cared.

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