Saturday, October 15, 2011

I can rule worlds

I don't talk to my family. None of them. (Apart from my niece and nephew who are lovely and intelligent and their mum who's fab. But then they aren't blood relatives which I feel explains it.) We don't talk for individual reasons and I'm in the right in every case.

In the last ten years I've been involved in four or five car crashes. Again, I wasn't in the wrong. Except for that one time when I worked for Graham Archer at CEF but never owned up to it. Sorry Graham. That's what you get when you send someone who only passed their test the day before out in your new and shniy Volvo. I'd only driven a Nova up to that point! So maybe that wasn't my fault either.

Where does my arrogance come from? I wish I knew but it makes for a wonderful feeling. I'm never wrong! Glorious. If I ever chose to bet on horses the whole universe would have to realign to my way of thinking.

I could reenergize the oil industry! Jamie, where is the universe's largest oil deposit? Africa. Which bit? All of it, 3 meters down.

The food industry: Jamie, is fat really unhealthy? nope. It's womderul stuff and it tastes of custard while reducing cholesterol and making you drunk. Kids'll love it.

The starving millions: Jamie, what's the best cure for hunger? Free food, for everyone.

Aaaah welome to my world. Jayworld? Jaypiter? Open to suggestions. I should be magnanimous in my awesomeness.

No comments:

Directory of General Blogs

Blogarama - The Blog Directory

English Blog Directory.

Devon Blogs

prev ? In MY Opinion # next>

«#Blogging Brits?»