Satan is an Insomniac

Aaah, Paddy, my gorgeous kitten tom cat. You play, you fight, you look generally cute. If you could just let me have some sleep now and again I'd be most appreciative. To that end, I've got to start being not nice to you.

I am going to prod you, shake you, forcibly play with you and do pretty much anything else I can think of to keep you awake. You shan't go to sleep before my bedtime, you shall be so tired that you shall lay motionless all night. No longer will you jump on my head with all claws extended. You will not hit me in the eye. And hopefully you won't need a shit and stink my bedroom out.

You don't like punishments. This isn't to say you don't like being punished, I just really don't think you give a toss. A spray of water in the face? You don't flinch. A shout? A slap? You carry on regardless. Throwing you from the bed to the floor three hundred times a night? You still come back for that three hundred and first time. So I will play with you and by god you will play with me. You're on me right now trying to get to sleep. Your eyes are drooping. I'm going to put you on the floor now and make you walk. Soz.