Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Cunty Sark descending into slagging off London

There are many things on the news that are worthy. Some actually deserve to have their legs spread open and probed before the nation. Others however should just be passed on by.

The story of the stricken Cutty Sark is one such. Who actually gives a toss? OK, the day of the fire it should maybe have got a mention toward the end of the bulletin. But all this time later is there nothing else worth reporting? Have all the famines in Africa stopped? Has no-one been raped today? How many murders haven't taken place?

I have a theory about stories like this and i t involves a formula: something happens. If 1 divided by the square of the distance from London is less than 0.1 it has little chance of appearing. This is because the majority of the media exists in London, to publicise London for Londoners of which the presenters and journalists generally tend to be. I was stuck in a traffic jam once in the Midlands. Not very newsworthy by itself but it was the biggest traffic jam ever to have happened. The police had received a phone call saying one of the supports struts on the M1 and the police closed it. At rush hour. They closed the motorway. Now Londoners like to think the M25 is the only motorway that matters but that's because they're all blinded by coolness. The M1 at that particular stretch is one of the busiest in existence. So all the cars had to find a different route down country lanes. Now, given most of the drivers had never left at that junction, most also had no idea where they were going, myself included. The result? Gridlock for over two hours. Literally. Not one person moved.

Did this appear on the news? Do I need to answer in the negative or have you guessed the answer already?

I'm sure Damilola Taylor was a lovely lad (yeah, right. Inner city youth living in a council flat. Chances of angel-dom? More chance I won't electrocute myself at least once a week.) but kids get stabbed every week in Nottingham.

London bias exists in other ways too. Major millennium projects? Stick 'em in London. The Eye, the bridge, others I'm sure. Every one on the news. How many local projects got on the news? Hmm? Anyway, other ways. Take Wembley Stadium. Surely common sense would dictate it gets put where the majority of people can get to it? Nope. An MP suggested that you can get to Wembley from anywhere in the UK within 4 hours. Try getting from Land's End to just Frikin' Devon in 4 hours, mate. Birmingham would have been a much better idea. But no, the government had to be seen to be supporting the London tourist economy.

And London wages: when I travelled the world easily half the people I met were from London and invariably could be heard declaring the cost of an item was 'nuffink'. Yes, it possibly is when you earn far higher than us plebs outside of the M25. Think about it. Shop worker in...Plymouth might earn £10k. In Chiswick he might earn...estimates....£43k. Now, when looking at Internet holidays Plymouth man might have to think twice; London man probably snaps up 3. Grr.


Mr.D. said...

Did you have some (horrible) green paint left over from the diy, then?

And if your Word Verification letters get any lengthier, I may stop being Arsed To Respond.

(You can tell I'm well pi55ed-off at not being able to go fishing, can't you?)

Jamie Starbuck said...

Are you not liking the new colour? I went to the loo and had inspiration.

My word verification is set to gradually ease up to 30 characters just to confirm your loyalty.

And anyone that likes to go fishing *deserves* to go fishing.

Gilbey Momerath said...

Nice gratuitous use of the word Cunt in the title of today's post, perhaps we should have a competition to find the best word with the word cunt hidden in it?
I will start with the place of my questionable conception (no, not the bathroom)


it even says it on my passport.

your turn...


PS thanks for the linkage homie.
PPS Love to the Wife.

Anonymous said...

Come on Jamie - you're slacking!!!

Jamie Starbuck said...

I am? I don't do this for a job, you know? Been busy...And say thy name, stranger!

Wonder Woman said...

Sorry Jamie - it was me! I was a bit worse for wear and couldn't be arsed to remember my login details!!

Anonymous said...


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