Saturday! Saturday!

Before I start I just want to say Strictly Dancing today. Kate Garratasaway. Yowzer. Ahem.

When I was young I used to watch television. A lot. This was in no small part to having no friends (what changes?), me being totally inept at all things social (what changes?) and there being some quality stuff on (to the eyes of a ten-year-old). Saturday's were my favourite day. I'd get up at ten and pretty much watch TV until bedtime. Depending on my age this may have been interrupted by a visit to the chip shop, a trip to town or a trip to the shops with my mum. But then it was back to the telly.

We didn't have Strictly Dancing. We didn't have the X-Factor (which is a good thing seeing as how this years contestants are uniformly awful). We had Noels House Party. Looking back it was shite although I actually believed the studio was in the Channel Tunnel at the time of breakthrough to the french side. Noel's inheritors seem to be Ant & Dec who I wouldn't watch if you paid me. Funnily enough I still watch Noel on Deal Or No Deal and it's him that makes it compelling viewing. Ant & Dec on that poker face thing they do just bleed the tension out of the moment. That may be because I'm always trying to preempt them saying to the camera "the vote has never been so close - you must vote" - yeah, feck off yer irritating tits.

So, the point of this? Bring back Noel Edmonds onto everything on TV! Imagine him on Millionaire - I'd watch again! Give the bloke a chat show! A travel show! A DIY show! You may shoot me at any point if you want but that's only because you know I'm right.