I'm sat on a bus heading for Lima. It's 90 minutes of noise, random potholes and insufferable heat. I'm going through this one more time before I go home. I am literally leaving paradise to face my destiny in England.
I left the UK a long time ago in search of...well, in all honesty I was running away. From life and responsibility; justice and my past. I didn't acknowledge it at the time but apparently I was looking for somewhere to call home. Somewhere I could imagine living for ever, where I could be ethical and free, where I wouldn't be judged or condemned for the sometimes bafflingly bizarre decisions I make; where I'd be accepted.
InanItah came close. So close. But ultimately there was too much partying for me. So I left. And eventually found the Hari Krishnas. I initially stayed at a farm in Ecuador, deep in a cloud valley, surrounded by hills and trees. And cloud. Much cloud. And rain and cold. It was beautiful. Hey had a farm and i spent days shaving trees. The people were lovely but I didn't learn a lot because nobody spoke English. Damn them. They were patient though and I struggled through. Until I got Ill from being cold so I ran away like I had something deadly. I went to the nearest town and bought copious clothes and antibiotics.
Upon entering Peru a few weeks later I looked up similar places and found Eco Truly Park. Go look it up.
The Hari Krishnas live on the beach in strange egg shaped buildings, eating (at worst) vegetarian and pretty much living to the motto "do what makes you happy". Again, i farmed. I also carried a lot of bricks, had campfires on the beach, helped build (paint) a park for children and killed (weeded) a lot of weeds (probably perfectly viable food). I was home. I even learned to love and appreciate physical exercise. I taught Tae Bo and went for two hour beach walks without a thought. I'm fitter than I've ever been! I've stayed for three months because I found it hard to leave but unlike InanItah it's not because I was scared to leave - its because I liked it so much. I'm waaaay over my Peruvian visa but I've been assured that won't be a problem at the airport; I may just need to pay $1 for everyday I'm over. I can imagine living at Eco Truly quite happily for the rest of my life. No drugs, no drink, no caffeine, no stress, good work, healthy food, a steady of influx of likeminded very cool travellers, a lot of yoga...what's not to love? It's a pity they want you to pay to stay or I may never have left. Maybe that's not such a bad thing. Because I now get to have a warm shower.
I'm closing down this blog as of now. I'm changing the password to something I'll never remember and leaving it behind. This is for two reasons: 1) it represents the past and I don't dwell there any longer; I've moved on and 2) the name 'misanthropiste' no longer fits with who I am. I'm still cynical AKA realistic but I can see the positives now in who we are as a species. There is good out there - I know; I've met them.
Thanks to everyone who ever read my often insane ramblings. Thanks to everyone who commented. I love you all. Even you. It's one of the Krishna teachings - love your enemy (subtext: cuz he's just as fucked up as you are).