Action Cat

Alfie, my lovely tabby pussy cat who I dote on, has had a heart-stopping adventure. Heart stopping for me that is, she probably couldn't have cared less.

Never one to let anything faze her, Alfie lurves to explore. The day after we moved in our cats were getting on our royal tits (two weeks?? Which masochistic arse decided you should keep a cat in for two weeks when they enter a new home? They obviously never met Nana) so against the wife's express wishes (she's a real have a cake and take five extra portions kinda girl) I let them out. Wife was in bed. What did she know? It took all of two days for them to be left out over night. NB There is no bigger joy than to watch your cat in a new environment.

So, I wake up at ooh seven-ish and after the obligatory nee demanded wifey-cuddle, I toddle downstairs, remembering my slippers in case my feet freeze to the cermaic tiles on the kitchen floor. I swear, this will happen come winter. Tea and toast in hand I open the kitchen door having just rembered my err...beloved Alfie has been out in sub-zero temperatures all night. Well she's not at the door...although I can hear a distinct crying above me. Up I looks, and she's on the utility room roof, a seperate garage size construction not three feet from the back door. Unfortunately there's no where for her to easily jump down apart from a 2mm wide fence and even she's not that brave. So I runs around loking for something to stand on - eureka! thinks I, I'll get the grey filing box, so I run upstairs.

While there I remember the previous day she'd somehow found her way onto the conservatory roof and into this same room. Genius! I'll open the window and in she'll pop. Bad idea. Big Bad Idea. You may have read earlier, if you were paying attention, that it had been sub-zero temperatures. This didn't occur to me.

Alfie tends to follow me wherever I go, so true to form, when she saw me she made the leap (two feet) from solid flat rooftop to icy tilted glass. I felt 'the fear'. Never has a semi-naked man ran so fast through a house with a grey box (got the image?). Needless to say all was well in the end. Once Alfie was out of arms she just sauntered very cooly over to her food and chowed down. As she does.