In which I become a big girl's blouse

So, again, I met this woman. An american this time. And again she's dragged me off to somewhere on the spur of the moment. Where am I? Here: http://www.inanitah.com/

Quite why I decided to come here I don't know. I hate hippys. They're so smug in their vegan ways; with dreadlocks that....well i domt understand dreadlocks on any level. I think they lookmstupid and dirty. That website just screams tofu and lectures on sustainability. But within 3 minutes I'd decided to tag along. It was in vaguely the right direction so I thought 'fuck it'. It might be good for a laugh.

Except when I arrived it all clicked into place. I've recently been moving toward a greater awareness of meat and where it comes from. I've always thought everybody is an arsehole. I've always got bored really easily and want to move on really quickly. And I take the piss. A lot. But I walked in, not having filled out an application form like you're supposed to, and was greeted with warmth and friendliness. It made me feel a bit uncomfortable if I'm honest but the problem was all mine. It's taking some getting used to: everybody being so bloody nice. And I don't think they're faking it. I'm naturally very suspicious of nice people, it's what comes of being treated like shit for years on end, and all these people do is smile. It's all very Stepford but in a very good way.

We had dinner not long after we arrived last night and everybody joined hands. I was on the verge of objecting to saying prayers but we all went around the table saying what we were thankful for. God wasnt mentioned. It was awesome (I appreciate I sound very wet right now). Nobody smokes. I don't have to sit upwind for a change.

Today, as part of living here for not a lot, I spent two hours watering plants. Later is yoga. Tomorrow, I might help out in the kitchen making food from random stuff found in the garden. I've never just wandered in a garden and picked random leaves to eat. I got very emotional yesterday at all this. I like to think I'm very open minded but having rejected this entire concept for years I don't feel I can say that anymore. Maybe it's just my age. Maybe I'm having a mid-life crisis. But for the first time in a long time I feel like I belong. How long till I fuck it up, eh?